Tuesday, September 29, 2009


My kids take gummy bear vitamins. Hell, I take gummy bear vitamins. They rock. But since they are indeed medication and are cunningly like candy, I keep them high in the cabinet, and instill a haunting fear of overdose in my children about them. So much so that I got a text from Kelly during the Taylor Swift concert, which looked something like this:

H n E want gummy vite. H says 1x day. can't remember if he had with bfast. Need clarification. Respond STAT.

So yesterday evening, Harrisen comes into the kitchen, with a serious look on his face.

H: I wish my taste buds could talk.
K: Why is that, buddy?
H: So they could help me remember if I had a gummy bear today.

It was so precious, I convinced him I could hear them, and he was "all clear" for a dose of the good stuff.

I don't think he bought for a minute that I could hear his taste buds, but he was sure happy to get his vitamin.


  1. I knew. I JUST KNEW. (Based on an old episode of ER, naturally) that your children were going to keel over of iron poisoning, and it would be ALL MAH FAULT.

    I could picture it so clearly in my mind: the children laying on gurneys, gray-faced, weak little waifs, mere moments from expiring, and me wailing to Noah Wyle that I accidentally let them have two gummy bears in one day! Two! And now their young lives were cut short, their potential wasted, because I didn't text their mother at the Taylor Swift concert and ask her if the kids could have a gummy bear.

    You could hear soft strains of "Candle in the Wind" floating in the background and everything.

    It was totes dramatic.

  2. I faithfully take my gummy vites every day! But I read the back, and given the fact that they are made for kids, I am allowed to take as many as four per day. I may have invented that number out of thin air, but I have not died from it yet. But if I do, I'm blaming Kelly.

  3. You People are Hilarious!! I <3 you all!!