My kids take gummy bear vitamins. Hell, I take gummy bear vitamins. They rock. But since they are indeed medication and are cunningly like candy, I keep them high in the cabinet, and instill a haunting fear of overdose in my children about them. So much so that I got a text from Kelly during the Taylor Swift concert, which looked something like this:
H n E want gummy vite. H says 1x day. can't remember if he had with bfast. Need clarification. Respond STAT.
So yesterday evening, Harrisen comes into the kitchen, with a serious look on his face.
H: I wish my taste buds could talk.
K: Why is that, buddy?
H: So they could help me remember if I had a gummy bear today.
It was so precious, I convinced him I could hear them, and he was "all clear" for a dose of the good stuff.
I don't think he bought for a minute that I could hear his taste buds, but he was sure happy to get his vitamin.
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I knew. I JUST KNEW. (Based on an old episode of ER, naturally) that your children were going to keel over of iron poisoning, and it would be ALL MAH FAULT.
ReplyDeleteI could picture it so clearly in my mind: the children laying on gurneys, gray-faced, weak little waifs, mere moments from expiring, and me wailing to Noah Wyle that I accidentally let them have two gummy bears in one day! Two! And now their young lives were cut short, their potential wasted, because I didn't text their mother at the Taylor Swift concert and ask her if the kids could have a gummy bear.
You could hear soft strains of "Candle in the Wind" floating in the background and everything.
It was totes dramatic.
I faithfully take my gummy vites every day! But I read the back, and given the fact that they are made for kids, I am allowed to take as many as four per day. I may have invented that number out of thin air, but I have not died from it yet. But if I do, I'm blaming Kelly.
ReplyDeleteYou People are Hilarious!! I <3 you all!!
ReplyDeleteI could picture it so clearly in my mind
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